O sleep, o gentle sleep!

by psychedelicpineapples

Apparently we spend one third of our lives asleep. I think I am the exception to the rule.

I can’t remember the last time I had a proper, uninterrupted night’s sleep. Even when I was a child I can’t remember ever being a ‘good’ sleeper, whatever that means. The years spanning from age five to about nine or ten I would suffer from a recurring nightmare. My house was burning down and I was stuck on the toilet, paralyzed. Pretty traumatizing for a kid, let me tell you.

I’m petrified of the dark and even to this day I struggle to fall asleep without at least one light on somewhere in the house. Oh, I’ve watched enough horror movies to know what happens when the lights are out. I’m a certifiable nervous wreck when there is a power failure.

Falling asleep is rarely the problem. It’s waking up and hour and a half later that tends to bother me to a certain degree. The seemingly endless tossing and turning. Checking the time only to discover that the hour I am sure has passed is actually only two minutes and thirty-five seconds.

So I usually end up on the couch in the living room, a zombie-like expression on my grey-ish face, watching mind numbing late night television. This usually comprises the less popular cartoons from my youth and Will and Grace reruns. Sometimes I will get lucky and an old episode of South Park will make an appearance.

Nevertheless, sleep and I have never had a particularly healthy relationship. The monster that lurks under my bed these days has morphed into an exceptionally cheeky bastard called insomnia. Last night’s entertainment included a remarkably resilient mosquito (who I could have sworn I killed at least 50 times) and a boisterous moped next door that enjoys leaving the house at four o’clock in the morning, stalling (I’m pretty sure outside my window) and letting a cell phone play an alarmingly raucous ringtone for several hours before dithering off down the road.

So when that blessed moment arrives and I actually fall asleep when it’s dark and wake when it’s light, I just have to smile and be thankful for life’s little moments of pleasure 🙂